What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA-NA-NA-NAAA! How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? Break her fingers.
So two ducks are sitting in a bathtub. The first duck asks, "Would you pass the soap," and the other duck says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?" Q: What's the difference between a 7-11 and a smurf? A: A 7-11 is a 24-hour convenience store and a smurf is a small blue fictional cartoon character J: How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb? L: How many? J: Five! [long pause] L: Why five? J: [shrug shoulders and mumble "I dunno."] So three rabbis and a leprechaun are trekking across the desert. So they trek all day, then they camp out for the first night, and they're camped out, and a tarantula makes a move on the leprechaun. So the first rabbi picks up a canteen of water and throws it at the tarantula, and knocks the tarantula out, so they're all safe and everything's cool. Then they get up the second day and they trek all day, then they camp out for the second night, and they're camped out, and a rattlesnake starts going after the leprechaun. So the second rabbi picks up a box of matzoh and throws it at the rattlesnake and knocks it out, so they're safe and everything's okay. Then they get up on the third day and trek all day, then they camp out for the third night, and on the third night, a scorpion starts attacking the leprechaun. So the third rabbi walks into a bar and orders a double scotch and a milkshake. He drinks the double scotch and pours the milkshake in his pants. Then he gets a second set of drinks, and this time he drinks the milkshake and pours the double scotch in his pants. Then he gets a third set of drinks, and this time when the bartender turns his back, the elephant just takes off, running down the highway, knocking over telephone poles and smashing cars and small trucks, and by the time he gets to the tollbooth the first duck asks, "Hey, would you pass the soap?" But before the second duck can even answer, the cop BURSTS into the bathroom carrying the monkey. But the monkey gets loose, right? And he runs into the kitchen and starts smashing all the dishes and bending all the forks and spoons. And by the time the dentist catches the monkey again, the leprechaun shoves the scorpion up the third rabbi's nose. Well,they certainly had me laughing
i dont get it...... heh heres one...... What do you call a egg in the ground a eggplant HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA
wow that must be the most corniest joke ever said in the history of all forums LOL...... but it made me laugh abit :lol:
rofl u all stink at making jokes heres one A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari.
How do you call the friends of Neo? Neofriends! Now laugh everyone. After 5 seconds when you stopped reading the joke. And don't forget to move the lips more.
Yeah, that joke just made my face move into an awkward position...something like a face of "wtf?" Nice try though haha
Well, as for my previous jokes, they're called random jokes. Jokes that are funny because they don't make sense. If you don't get them, I suppose we have different levels of what we find funny. 3 old men are at the doctor for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, "What is three times three"? "274" was his reply. The doctor says to the second man "It's your turn. What is three times three"? "Tuesday" replies the second man. The doctor says to the third man, "OK, Your turn. What's three times three"? "Nine" says the third man. "That's great" says the doctor. "How did you get that"? "Simple" says the third man. "I subtracted 274 from Tuesday"
Two sausages are frying in a pan. One looks at the other and says "Gee, it's getting hot in here!" The second sausage looks at the first in shock, takes a deep breath and screams "OH MY GOSH IT'S A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!"
That made me lol for real. xD Lame jokes are the best! I've got a few: Two peanuts were walking through an alley at night. One was assaulted. Two fish are in their tank. One turns to the other and says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!" Two atoms are walking down a street. One turns to the other and says, "I've lost an electron!" The other replies, "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!" (Yay for nerd humor. 8D)