My mom loved valium and lots of drugs And that's why I am like I am cause I'm like her Because my mom loved valium and lots of drugs That's why Im on what Im on cause I'm my mom IMMMMM baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack,.
My f**king b1tch mom's suin for ten million She must want a dollar for every pill I've been stealin It seemed fitting to the topic B)
My mom my mom I know you're probably tired of hearin bout my mom Oh ho! Whoa ho! But this just a story of when I was just a shorty And how I became hooked on va-al-ya-hum Valium was in everything food that I ate The water that I drank fuckin peas in my plate She sprinkled just enough of it to sea-son my steak So every day I'd have at least three stomach aches Now tell me, what kinda mother would wanna see her Son grow up to be an undera-fuckin-chiever My teacher didn't think I was gonna be nothin either What the fuck you sticking gum up under the fuckin seat for Mrs. mathers your son has been huffin ether Either that or the motherfucker's been bumpin reefer But all this huffin and puffin wasn't what it was either It was neither I was buzzin but it wasn't what she thought B in a D-cup?, bitch you ain't my D-bomb sleepin What the fuck you keep on fuckin with me for Slut you need to leave me the fuck alone I ain't playin Go find you a white crayon and color a fuckin zebra
There was an old woman who swallowed a fly I don't know why she swallowed the fly I guess she'll die! There was an old woman who swallowed a spider That wriggled and squiggled and tickled inside her She swallowed the spider to catch the fly I don't know why she swallowed the fly I guess she'll die! There was an old woman who swallowed a bird She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and squiggled and tickled inside her She Swallowed the spider to catch the fly I don't know why she swallowed the fly I guess she'll die! There was an old woman who swallowed a cat She swallowed the cat to catch the bird She swallowed the bird to catch the spider that wriggled and squiggled and tickled inside her She Swallowed the spider to catch the fly I don't know why she swallowed the fly I guess she'll die! There was an old woman who swallowed a shroom
Oh, many, many years ago When I was twenty-three I was married to a widow Who was pretty as can be This widow had a grown-up daughter Who had hair of red My father fell in love with her And soon the two were wed This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life For my daughter was my mother 'Cause she was my father's wife To complicate the matter Though it really brought me joy I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy This little baby then became A brother-in-law to Dad And so became my uncle Though it made me very sad For if he was my uncle Then that also made him brother Of the widow's grown-up daughter WHo of course is my step-mother Chorus I'm my own grandpa I'm my own grandpa It sounds funny I know But it really is so Oh, I'm my own grandpa My father's wife then had a son Who kept them on the run And he became my grandchild For he was my daughter's son My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue Because although she is my wife She's my grandmother too Now if my wife is my grandmother Then I'm her grandchild And every time I think of it It nearly drives me wild For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw As husband of my grandma I am my own grandpa