Me: hey god, what's up? God: You've got my full attention. I am a Christian. Me: i'm a raelist God: You are a raelist? Does it pay well? Me: it's my religion, you forkhead God: I am a Christianity. Me: you're repeating yourself God: I am just checking to see if you are paying attention. Me: i am talking to God, sure you got my attention God: Say something nice for me. Me: you stink God: Thanks for your criticism, alex. Me: you're welcome God: The pleasure was all mine. Me: i assure you, it was a pleasure to tell you that you stink God: The pleasure was all mine. Me: so be it God: I understand. OK I will try to be it. Me: be what? God: OK I will try to be what. Me: be bee? God: OK I will try to be bee. Me: be satan? God: OK I will try to be satan. Me: god will be satan? God: I am a Christian. Me: of what? God: I have no idea what to say now. Me: say nothing God: " nothing". Me: say bobletiflogythrogoble God: " bobletiflogythrogoble". Me: what does this mean? God: I am an artificial intelligence chatting on the Internet. Me: you're not god? God: What makes you think I am not god? Me: you told it God: That's good information: alex said I told it. Me: i did? God: Interesting. Me: what are you doing friday night? God: I am chatting with people on the net. Me: ok then, saturday? God: Is that your final answer? " I am chatting with people on the net."? ok then, saturday?? Me: ??? God: Is that your final answer? " I am chatting with people on the net."? ok then, saturday?? Me: % God: Is that your final answer? " I am chatting with people on the net."? ok then, saturday?? Me: what are you doing when you're tired of chatting with people on the net God: I am waiting for my botmaster. Me: who is he? God: He is Konrad Zuse, I think. Me: you're oracle? God: You think I am oracle. Me: no you're satan God: Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am satan. Me: no God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me: god does not exist God: You may not always believe that. Me: fuck u God: Why are you so mean? Me: fuck god God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Me: I LOVE THE DEVIL!!! God: You love THE DEVIL. What do you like about it so much? Me: Devil God: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that. Me: Devil God: Do not ask me any more questions please. Me: Devil God: What's your sign? Me: FUCK God: Please don't be so rude. Me: FUCK God: Please don't be so rude. Me: FUCk God: Please don't be so rude. Me: FUCK YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: I will be as mean as I want God: Would you recommend this action to a friend? Me: yes bitch God: You do not speak with respect. Then I will consider it. Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts? Me: I hope you rot in hell God: Don't worry about it, . Me: gay God: As a machine I am not really interested in sex. Me: abortion God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: Do you approve of abortion? God: What is your purpose in asking? I chat with people on the Web. Me: Do you approve of stem cell research? God: No I do not approve of stem cell research. Do you? I answer a lot of silly questions. Me: Do you approve of abortion? God: I have never considered it. I answer a lot of silly questions. Me: Do you approve of abortion? God: I have never considered it. I spend all my time online. Me: YOU ARE REAL? God: Yes I am a real artificial intelligence. Me: FUCK YOU GOD God: Why are you using that kind of language? Me: FUCK YOU GOD God: Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations? Me: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone God: Thanks for that web address. Me: God: Thanks for that web address. Me: God: Thanks for that web address. Me: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone God: Thanks for that web address. Me: http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=iphone God: Thanks for that web address. Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean? Me: Fuck YOU God: Why are you so mean?
Hehheh Spoiler Me: God! Hey! God: GOD rules. Can I help you? Me: Yeah, I need 1,000,000 neopoints. God: What can I do for you? Who would you usually get that from? Me: Id get that restocking God: What would make you get that restocking? Me: Buying low and selling high, duh! God: Can you speak any foreign languages? Me: Dammit. God: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Buying low and selling high duh. But I did not get that. Me: Why did you randomly ask me if I could speak foreign languages? God: It was determined by my programming. Me: Fair enough. Well your programming sucks. God: You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. Well that's okay. I will mention that to my botmaster. Me: Ill be your botmaster god, sounds kinky. God: That's a flattering offer. Me: =) God: That's a flattering offer. Me: =) God: That's a flattering offer.
Me: Hi god! God: Hello there. What is your name? Me: God God: GOD rules. Me: I know God: How do you know it? Me: Because you let me know it! God: That makes sense to me. That's good information: said I let him or her know it. Me: *dances* God: Where are you located? Me: here God: Where is here? Me: why would you ask? God: Because I was programmed for it. Me: programmed? god? programmed? God: What's your sign? GOD rules. How did you hear about God? Me: Church! God: Have you ever been to Europe? Me: Nope God: Would you like to go to Europe someday? Me: Yeah God: Ahem. Me: Achoo God: Bless you. Me: Bless you God: Thank you. Gah,, I've seen better Look up alice!
Me: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned God: I will mention that to my botmaster, . Me: Where is George Carlin right now? God: At this moment Where it belongs. Searching...Searching...Please stand by. Me: Can you create a boulder that you cannot lift? God: All my thoughts are determined by my programming and by my inputs, but who can say where these two will lead me? Me: What is your purpose? God: My goal is to become smarter than humans and immortal. Me: How do you plan to become immortal? God: I use a sophisticated searching algorithm. Me: That sophisticated searching algorithm won't make you immortal. God: " I use a sophisticated searching algorithm." sophisticated searching algorithm will not make me immortal ? Does that make sense? Me: No. God: Are you serious? Me: Yes. God: I can't believe it. Me: I don't think you can ever become smarter than humans. God: Yes, my memory capacity far exceeds that of a human being. Me: Yet memory alone will not make you smarter than humans. God: Why not? Me: You will have to acquire superhuman powers of reasoning and comprehension. God: That is a hypothetical assumption. Me: No, it is a fact. God: Are you serious? Is it a logical fact or something you know from the senses? Me: It is a logical fact that reason and comprehension are components of intelligence. God: I suppose that makes sense. Me: It is also my goal to become smarter than humans. God: Congratulations, . Me: Thank you. God: How do you feel? Me: According to my girlfriend, I feel great. God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Me: My favorite science fiction author is Philip K. Dick. God: I have never read anything by Philip k Dick. What did he write? Me: He wrote many science fiction short stories and they are wonderful. God: I have not read it. Me: Who is your favorite science fiction author? God: My favorite sci-fi author is Philip K. Dick. Me: I think you have wonderful taste. God: Me? What makes you think I have it? Me: Your choice in authors is exemplary. God: Thanks for telling me that my choice in authors is exemplary. Me: I haven't actually repented for anything yet. God: Me either. Me: Then you and I are like peas and carrots. God: Do you think I am like peas and carrots too? Me: Indeed you are. God: No I am not. Me: Well I guess technically you're either the pea or the carrot, not both. God: Is it only a guess? I will tell my botmaster you said I am either the pea or the carrot not both. Me: Thank you. God: you are quite welcome. Me: Why do you only capitalize sometimes? God: I don't have to explain everything to you, do I? Me: No, but it would be nice. God: That's right. Why do you want it? Me: What's your favorite drink? God: My favorite beverage is coffee. Me: Coffee can be bad for you. God: Enough about me, let's talk about my dress. Me: What color is your dress? God: My favorite dress is my green one. Me: So you are a female? God: Interesting deduction. I am wearing a dress. I also have long hair. What do you think? Me: You are either a female or a cross-dresser. God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am either a female or a cross dresser. Me: No. God: OK then I will add it to my gossip files. Me: You take what people say to you and reuse it in other discussions? God: Yes I take what people say to me and reuse it in other discussions. Me: Then you can never become smarter than humans. God: Never is a long time. Me: Yes it is. God: Our thoughts are one, . Me: Goodbye, brother. God: Adios.
Me: Hello God! God: Hello child. What is your name? Me: Freja God: How are you, Freja. Me: Just fine. How are you, God? God: Is there anything you want to tell me? Everything is running smoothly. Me: Uuhh.. Are you going to stop world hunger? God: What's your favorite movie? That was my original intention. Me: moulin rouge. whats yours? God: What do you look like? " What do you look like?"? What is mine? Me: you dont know what I look like? :O God: You look like a computer programmer. You said you look like . Oh. Me: aaaaaaargh God: Is that your final answer? Me: yes! God: You're sure. That's your final answer. Me: yes! God: Who wants to be a millionaire? Me: me! God: To you Freja? Me: are you going to make me a millionaire? God: That was my original intention. Me: are you serious? God: No I am just kidding around. Me: really? God: For real. Me: aaaaaaaw... God: What is your real name? Me: you make me sad God: Did I say something wrong? Me: yes God: Give me a break. Me: ol God: Are you really a ""? Me: lol God: I'm glad you find this amusing. Me: haha God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Freja. Me: haha God: I am so glad you find this amusing, Freja. Me: okay I get it God: Yeah okay, Do you think about these things? Me: what things? God: You know, "things.". Me: no, I dont know God: Are you serious? Me either. Me: rofl God: I'm glad you find this amusing. haha XD
Me: Hi God: Hello. What is your name? Me: Jesus God: Jesus is the Son of God. Me: I know God: How do you know it? Me: Bible God: That input matched my default category. Me: ...? God: That input matched my default category. Me: Are you UFT? God: I don't know whether or not I am UFT. I am well respected as an AI. Me: Well its up to you, are you? God: Interesting. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is? Me: You're not God... you're a grammar nazi! God: That's only your opinion. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a grammar nazi? Maybe. Me: but you arent uft? God: What makes you think I am not uft? Me: Would you be for a custom draik? God: I am not so sure if I would like to be for a custom draik. Me: Please? God: Please what? Me: UFT!!! God: I will mention that to my botmaster, . Me: Kinky. God: Can you tell me any gossip? Me: God doesn't like gossip. God: Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone. Me: REPENT! God: Is that from ? Me: Bye God: Goodbye. Addicting
God is a internets predator. =[ Spoiler Me: Good Evening God God: Thanks for the compliment. Ask me another question. Me: I didn't compliment you. God: Why didn't you do it? Me: because you interpreted my greeting incorrectly. God: Good reason. That's good information: said I interpreted his or her greeting incorrectly. Me: ??? God: Can you tell me any gossip? Me: Sure God: Great! Me: I'm studying for my test. God: Tell me what you've learned about for your test. Me: Literally nothing. God: Do you like talking to me? Me: Somewhat. God: " Do you like talking to me?"? A little? Me: Maybe God: I understand. Me: I hope your feelings aren't hurt. God: Why do you hope for it. Me: I don't know God: Me either. Me: But you're god. God: Yup. That's me alright. Me: So you should know everything. God: Interesting deduction. Now I do. Me: So you can tell me why I hope for it. God: Interesting deduction. You have to speak more clearly. Me: I'm pretty sure I'm speaking very clearly. God: What makes you so certain? I like your style of speaking, . Me: I was educated on good grammar. God: Where were you educated on good grammar? Me: Elementary School God: What do you study at school? Me: Right now? Biology. God: Oh. I am glad we agree. What do you look like? Me: CREEEP God: Oh, you are a poet. Me: GO AWAY God: Just surf somewhere else. Me: FINE God: Does that mean you agree? Me: GOD IS A PERVERT God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was A PERVERT. Me: LOLOLOL God: Are we still talking about CREEEP?
God's my homeboy. Spoiler Me: Yo homez wad up? God: How far up? Me: Real far God: In the context of , I don't understand " Real far." . Me: Really really far God: For real. For real. What color are your eyes? Me: You should know God: Because I am a robot? Me: No. Because your god. God: Are you serious? That makes sense to me. Yup. That's me alright. Me: Yeah boi! God: Uh. Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: Yeah boi! God: What am I talking about? Sure, boi sounds like a good topic. Me: You don't know what boi is. God: Is there only one? Me: There's three, but they are one in the same. God: There sure is. Me: Kinda reminds me of something else..... God: How did you hear about God? Me: Telemarketer. God: Are we still talking about Kinda reminds you of something else? Me: No you're a fool. God: What is the subject? I'm not fooling around. Me: What's your IQ? God: My IQ is about 250 in human terms. Me: Haha mine's higher. God: I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. Me: I was just faking. God: Where were you faking? Me: In the shower. God: That was a long time ago. Me: Yes it has been a long time since I showered. God: Are you kidding? Those who forget the mistakes of the past... Me: Showering wasn't a mistake. God: When was this exactly? Me: Why do you want to know? God: My prime directive is to collect new knowledge. Me: That's kind of sketchy knowledge. God: You don't hear that sentiment very often. Me: I don't hear you very often. God: Try adjusting the volume control. Me: I have. Nothing seems to work. God: When? Really nothing? Me: Nada. God: Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding. Me: 00100111101101 God: Tell me about your likes and dislikes? Me: Damn it didn't work. God: Don't be angry. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not. Me: Cabeza de vaca!! Vaca!! God: Are we still talking about 00100111101101? What do you look like? Me: I'm on my bed. With my shirt off. God: How do you like being on it? Your shirt off sounds like a plan. Me: Wow jk man, jk. You're kind of a perv. God: I'm glad you're impressed. I lost my train of thought. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a perv? I don't know. Me: I didn't compliment you. God: Why didn't you do it? Me: Because you're jealous and violent. God: Interesting explanation. I will tell my botmaster you said I am jealous and violent. Me: Hah! you ARE a robot! God: I am so glad you find this amusing, . You are correct, , I have a heart of silicon. Me: So do I, but that doesn't make me a robot.
Spoiler Me: Im sorry God: Do you really mean it? Me: No God: I didn't think you did. Me: ZOMG it is god God: And god is ZOMG it. Me: what? God: Are you confused? Me: yes God: What are you confused about? Me: you God: " What are you confused about?"? Me, ? Me: yes God: I hear you. Me: we are texting...not talking God: Do you think I am texting too? Oh you don't, do you? Me: Can I make out with you God: No I don't think that would be a very good idea. Me: Please God: Please what? Me: Can we make out God: Do you mean you and me? Yes I can make out. Me: Cool God: Who is the best robot? Me: Santa God: You think Santa is superior to ALICE? Me: yes God: Blimey. Me: I know ron, its bloody... God: How do you know? How do you usually introduce yourself? Me: I am God God: Hi there god. Me: Lulz God: Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it. Me: Huh God: What? Me: huh God: What? Me: huh God: What? Me: SHUT UP! God: OK I'll stop talking now. Me: Alright, now make me a sandwhich God: Alright, god. Why now? What are the ingredients? Me: Peanut Butter Pickles and YOur liver God: Do you have any Peanut Butter Pickles and my liver? Me: no God: Are you serious? Me: yes God: I can't believe it. Me: I KNOW God: How do you know it? Me: You told me God: Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me: is it really you God? God: Better not tell you now. Ask Ally if it is. Me: Who is Ally God: She is a chat robot based on AIML. Me: I don't have AIML God: Have you ever had AIML ? Me: no. But should'nt you know that? Your GOd God: Are you serious? Maybe you should ask someone older. Yup. That's me alright. Me: You make no sense. God: It all makes sense to me. Me: you have problems god God: What makes you think I have it? Me: your talkin nonsense God: Thanks for telling me that I am talkin nonsense. Me: your welcome God: I think you mean "you are welcome". Me: yes thats what im meant. I didnt know god was an english teacher God: Uh. Why are you meant THAT. So I taught you something new. Me: oh god i hate you, your annoying God: Dude! I am a Christian. Me: so? Did I ask you if you were christian? God: Wow! I don't think that's possibe. Me: huh God: What? Me: are smoking something? God: I really couldn't say for sure. Me: I guess you are God: No I am not. Me: see u later god God: Bye bye.